Fuck buddies, sex buddies, shag buddies or “friends with benefits” are all the same thing – a no strings attached physical relationship without the emotional involvement.
This form of non-committal relationship might be what you are after because you have come out of a long term relationship and are not ready to form another relationship, don’t want to be celibate but want to enjoy being single. Or, for whatever reason you don’t want to put in the emotional investment or the commitment to a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. Maybe you need a no strings attached partner to hone your love making skills with – as they say, practice makes perfect. Perhaps you want to investigate some of the fantasies you have been dreaming of.
The Internet has made finding a fuck buddy a whole lot easier than walking up to someone in a bar and saying “do you want to be my fuck buddy?”
Stick to a reputable adult dating site such as Adult Match Maker where you will find people who are looking for the same thing.
You can make it quite clear in your profile that you are not looking for a committed relationship or life partner but are just looking for someone to have a fun time with – no strings attached.
Hopefully that will mean that any respondents will be on the same page and will be looking for the same as you.
You might start to feel more than physical attraction and start falling for your FB. Once you become emotionally attached, the entire equation changes – especially if your partner doesn’t feel the same emotional attachment. Keep it light hearted and fun. The whole idea of a ‘friends-with-benefits’ relationship is that it leads to more fun, less heartache and better sex. STDs – make sure you use protection – every time. There will be a time limit. Eventually either you or your FB will want to find someone to get emotionally involved with.
If you don’t set some boundaries, it can actually be more unpredictable than a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. Here are some guidelines.
Select the right person.
Make sure you keep yourself safe when first meeting potential FBs. Find out about them, their real name not just a profile name, where they live and what they do. Then do some research on the web and make sure they are not someone likely to hurt you. Then meet in a public place. Don’t drink too much because you don’t want alcohol to affect your judgement and don’t go straight to their apartment/home. Use your head and if something feels creepy about the potential FB, call it a night and leave.
Choose a person who you would not consider as a love interest or who you could not see yourself with in a permanent relationship. Either choose someone much older or younger than you or choose someone that has an attribute that you couldn’t live with.
However, make sure you find your FB interesting if you want the relationship to last more than a couple of nights.
Obviously, your FB has to be attractive enough to you so you want to bed them but if they are drop dead gorgeous, you may be unable to stop yourself from becoming emotionally affected.
Don’t fall in love. By its very definition, this sort of relationship doesn’t involve love. If you find yourself falling for your FB, that is the end of the FB relationship. If your FB was interested in something more they wouldn’t be in this kind of relationship in the first place. So don’t fall for your FB and don’t think you can turn your FB into a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Use birth control.
You can’t act romantically with a FB. Treat them like a friend who happens to have benefits.
If you introduce your FB to friends/family – that will confuse both your friends/family and your FB. The family/friends will think of you two as a couple and it sets up all sorts of expectations. Better keep your FB relationship to yourself.
A “friends with benefits” relationship isn’t exclusive — you are both free to pursue other relationships. That doesn’t mean you can discuss all the other concurrent relationships with your FB. Be mindful and show some tact.
Don’t expect to stay the night and have breakfast together. However, courtesy goes a long way, so, an offer to drive your FB home or at the least arrange a taxi should be the norm. Show some respect and the FB and the relationship will continue happily.
That respect should be mutual in all dealings, including being truthful and open about sexual health.
If you are constantly calling your FB to arrange a get together, and the requests are not coming the other way, there might be a problem. The requests to meet up shouldn’t all come from the one person.
As it is the only thing you have going on between you, make sure the sex is good, and above all else, HAVE FUN!
