Probably the number one rule for anyone in a casual relationship, or thinking about entering one, is to be honest with the other person. The lines of what’s casual and what’s not are blurry and many people in casual relationships want more than that. It might seem brutal, but it’s vital that you make sure you are both on the same page and you both understand what this is, and what it isn’t. Do this right from the beginning, don’t allow for any confusion or misunderstandings. That way, if casual isn’t what the other person really wants you’re giving them an escape route, and if it is, you know you’re both happy.

Rule #2 Have Some Respect

If you’ve established from the get-go that this relationship is casual, you are both free to see other people. Unless you’re in a hybrid casual-but-exclusive deal, which is often more of a ‘taking it slow’ phase before you take the leap into a relationship, it’s understood that there will be others. But just because you both know your hook-up is also hooking up with other people, doesn’t mean it’s ok to talk about what you do together all about town. Respect is important, even when it’s casual, so stay classy and keep what happens between the two of you between the two of you. Similarly, don’t ask your date about where they’ve been and who with, respect their privacy.

Rule #3 Set Your Own Rules

For some people casual dating means casual sex and not much else. If you’re both happy with this then that’s fine, but make sure neither of you has other ideas of what a casual relationship looks like. For some people, casual means lots of hot sex, but it also means going to a movie or dinner now and then. There aren’t any hard and fast rules about this, it’s down to whatever you are both comfortable with. The trick is to set the rules between you so you can both enjoy what’s going on. In the same way, you might want to decide whether this is going to be random hook-ups whenever you feel like it, or if you’re going to have a routine.

Rule #4 Beware of Feelings

Sometimes casual dating can turn into something more, but usually it is exactly what it says it is. For this reason, if you think you’re starting to develop feelings for your casual hook-up, it could be time to take a step back. If you both established from the start what this relationship is and your date is still sticking to the rules you set, developing feelings for them will most likely mean you are the one at risk of getting in over your head. Don’t allow yourself to become dependent, or you’ll soon find your hook-up has all the power. If emotions rear their ugly head, it could be time to call time on the arrangement.

Rule #5 Be Practical

This last one might seem like it’s unimportant, but in fact it’s one of the most important rules to implement in a casual relationship. Be practical. Pay for everything separately, split the bill, don’t give gifts and don’t receive gifts, don’t introduce your date to your friends, don’t call them outside of the boundaries of the relationship, and don’t do anything with them that feels like it’s crossing a line into anything more than casual. Keep set lines where they are and keep the rules of the game crystal clear. By being practical about what this is, you avoid any potential confusion, on both sides.

The post Casual Rules for Keeping it Casual appeared first on Adult Match Maker.

What is a fuck buddy?

Fuck buddies, sex buddies, shag buddies or “friends with benefits” are all the same thing – a no strings attached physical relationship without the emotional involvement.

Why a fuck buddy?

This form of non-committal relationship might be what you are after because you have come out of a long term relationship and are not ready to form another relationship,  don’t want to be celibate  but want to enjoy being single.  Or, for whatever reason you don’t want to put in the emotional investment or the commitment to a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship.   Maybe you need a no strings attached partner to hone your love making skills with – as they say, practice makes perfect.  Perhaps you want to investigate some of the fantasies you have been dreaming of.

How to find a fuck buddy?

The Internet has made finding a fuck buddy a whole lot easier than walking up to someone in a bar and saying “do you want to be my fuck buddy?”

Stick to a reputable adult dating site such as Adult Match Maker where you will find people who are looking for the same thing.

You can make it quite clear in your profile that you are not looking for a committed relationship or life partner but are just looking for someone to have a fun time with – no strings attached.

Hopefully that will mean that any respondents will be on the same page and will be looking for the same as you.

What are the hazards?

You might start to feel more than physical attraction and start falling for your FB.  Once you become emotionally attached, the entire equation changes – especially if your partner doesn’t feel the same emotional attachment.  Keep it light hearted and fun. The whole idea of a ‘friends-with-benefits’ relationship is that it leads to more fun, less heartache and better sex. STDs – make sure you use protection – every time. There will be a time limit.  Eventually either you or your FB will want to find someone to get emotionally involved with.

Are there rules?

If you don’t set some boundaries, it can actually be more unpredictable than a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. Here are some guidelines.

Select the right person.

Make sure you keep yourself safe when first meeting potential FBs.   Find out about them, their real name not just a profile name, where they live and what they do.  Then do some research on the web and make sure they are not someone likely to hurt you.  Then meet in a public place.  Don’t drink too much because you don’t want alcohol to affect your judgement and don’t go straight to their apartment/home.  Use your head and if something feels creepy about the potential FB, call it a night and leave.

Choose a person who you would not consider as a love interest or who you could not see yourself with in a permanent relationship.  Either choose someone much older or younger than you or choose someone that has an attribute that you couldn’t live with.

However, make sure you find your FB interesting if you want the relationship to last more than a couple of nights.

Obviously, your FB has to be attractive enough to you so you want to bed them but if they are drop dead gorgeous, you may be unable to stop yourself from becoming emotionally affected.

Don’t fall in love.  By its very definition, this sort of relationship doesn’t involve love.  If you find yourself falling for your FB, that is the end of the FB relationship.   If your FB was interested in something more they wouldn’t be in this kind of relationship in the first place.  So don’t fall for your FB and don’t think you can turn your FB into a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Use birth control.

You can’t act romantically with a FB.  Treat them like a friend who happens to have benefits.

If you introduce your FB to friends/family –  that will confuse both your friends/family and your FB.  The family/friends will think of you two as a couple and it sets up all sorts of expectations.  Better keep your FB relationship to yourself.

A “friends with benefits” relationship isn’t exclusive — you are both free to pursue other relationships.  That doesn’t mean you can discuss all the other concurrent relationships with your FB. Be mindful and show some tact.

Don’t expect to stay the night and have breakfast together.  However, courtesy goes a long way, so, an offer to drive your FB home or at the least arrange a taxi should be the norm.  Show some respect and the FB and the relationship will continue happily.

That respect should be mutual in all dealings, including being truthful and open about sexual health.

If you are constantly calling your FB to arrange a get together, and the requests are not coming the other way, there might be a problem.  The requests to meet up shouldn’t all come from the one person.

As it is the only thing you have going on between you, make sure the sex is good, and above all else, HAVE FUN!

The post Find a Fuck Buddy & Have Fun! appeared first on Adult Match Maker.

With so many dating websites available to people with a wide range of lifestyles and interests, the opportunities of meeting like- minded people on line are almost endless.  However, the most important thing about on line dating is safety.  The very nature of an on-line identity not just offers you the ability to put yourself out there in order to meet lots of new people but also allows others to hide their true identity. Dating safely is critical to your search for love as well as something a little bit naughtier.

To stay safe you need to consider how to ensure your physical safety, how to insure against identity theft and ensure your financial safety is not compromised.

Physical Safety

You may think that physical safety doesn’t come into the equation when dating safely on line as you are thinking it is all in the cyber world and until you actually decide to meet someone in person it won’t apply.  Actually, from the first words you type into your profile you are identifying yourself and you want to make sure that identity is not going to invite the wrong type of interest.  There are plenty of good people on line but there are also predators.

Choose the right site

Firstly, do your research about the dating sites available to you.  Read reviews.  You want an established, reputable site.   If you choose an Australian site you can look up their ABN number and see how long they have been around.  If they have been operating for a long time you know they must be doing it right.

There are risks of being defrauded by using websites posing as authentic dating sites.  The risks are the potential theft of your money if you do not use a secure link when making payments and having fake profiles where the person you think you have met is actually employed by the site to keep you hanging on and paying money.

Read the fine print.  The website should respect your information with regard to confidentiality and not share your information without your consent.  It should also give information about how it keeps you safe from abuse such as vetting candidates, reviewing web cams, chats and videos, providing tips on how to use the site and providing a contact number if there is abuse.  What are the terms of service of the website e.g. does it allow explicit content?

Does the website suit the type of person you are and does it feature the type of people you are interested in?

 Your profile

Do your research about writing a good profile.  Use your search engine to look up articles about how you should write your profile, what to put in it and what to leave out.  Most dating sites will have tips about how to write a good profile.

Safety tips here are:

Use a new photo of yourself for your profile.  Any photos of yourself that may already have been used on line or in any social networking website can be traced back to those sources to get information about you that you may not want to share with strangers.  Don’t use an old photo no matter how much you admire the way you looked.

Either use only your first name or create a screen name just for dating sites. Don’t use your last name as you don’t want to be instantly identifiable.

Consider how you want to project your image on the dating site.  Keep your screen name, description, and photo consistent with what you want to say about yourself.  If you use a provocative name and photo, expect a provocative response.

Don’t lie about your age, your interests, your personality, your likes or your dislikes.

Keep information about where you live or work out of your profile.  This can compromise your safety and allow someone to find you.

Use the dating site’s messaging system.  If you want to make contact via email, get a new email address that you use only for dating websites.  This can be a free email account eg G Mail or Hotmail but don’t include your name in the email address.  Don’t use a social networking account.  Only give a mobile phone number, not work or home number, once you are confident that you want to meet in person.

The Process

It can be extremely flattering to receive lots of interest on a dating website.   Take your time.  Start conversations on line to get to know the people who are interested in you and find out about them.

Check to see if they are on other social networking sites.  Google has an image search to check the profile photos.

Once you have asked all the questions you want to on line and received consistent, logical answers, then move the conversations to the telephone.   Make the calls yourself at a time to suit you.   You can block your caller ID until you are certain that you want them to know your number.   Be wary of anyone who tells you that they can only speak at certain times or who wants to push the relationship very fast.

Ask about previous relationships and why they broke up.  Some people never learn any life lessons from previous break ups and it may be a  glimpse of a future relationship.

Make sure from your phone conversations that you both want the same thing from this relationship.

The first date

Common sense tells you that a public place is the best place to have your first meeting.  A coffee shop is a great place to meet.  You can make the meeting a morning coffee just to see if the person you were expecting really does live up to their profile.  If they don’t look like their photo – what else would they be dishonest about?

If you have a friend to go with you it is even better.  They can observe from a distance but can come to your aid if necessary.

Otherwise let someone know where, when and who you are meeting and arrange for them to call you half an hour into your date to check on your safety.

Don’t depend on your date to drive you to or from the coffee shop and don’t go anywhere else with them on the first date.   There is always time to go on to a lunch next date.

Also don’t leave your food or drink to go to the bathroom.

Ask lots of questions about your date and their lifestyle.  If there are inconsistencies or vague answers – be wary.  If there are any signs of anger, disrespect, controlling or other unwelcome behaviour – make an excuse and leave.  Use your instinct and if you have cause to doubt – leave.

Most dating sites have a feature that allows you to block the person from contacting you if you want communication to stop.

Identity safety

Guard your personal information.  There are  predators out there who want access to your identity and thereafter your bank account.

Be careful of the information  you reveal in email and conversations, even after you meet in person.

Think about the questions you’re answering.  Are those questions fishing for security passwords to your online accounts?

Being online makes you accessible.  Be wary of emails claiming to be from online dating sites encouraging you to divulge personal information.

Be careful when accessing your account in a public place or on a shared computer so that others can’t view or record your password or personal information.

Update the security software on your computer.

Don’t open email attachments from someone you have only just met.

Do not share pictures or information about yourself, your family or friends that give someone any sort of hold over you.   Keep your private life private until you know someone really well and can over time trust them with that information.

Dating Safely Means Financial safety

Unfortunately there are unscrupulous people out there who are only interested in whatever money they can get from you.

Always keep your bank account information private.

Make sure you monitor your online transactions and account balances.

These people might appeal to your better nature to help them out of a sad/disastrous/medical/unfortunate/bad luck situation by sending them money.

Do not send anyone money.   Report anything like this to the website.  It is a scam.   Scammers will try to gain your sympathy by the stories they tell.  Unfortunately these scammers will also manipulate your emotions.   Stop all contact immediately and report the matter to the dating site.

If someone you are in contact with starts declaring their love for you within a very short time of making contact they could be trying to get right into your life, possibly for all the wrong reasons. Use common sense and tell someone you trust to get advice.

If someone offers you money that is also a scam.   The same goes for anyone with a get rich quick scheme.

Some scammers will threaten people with webcam footage or messages that they have managed to get out of users online so be very wary of what you say and show online.

Don’t assume scammers are illiterate foreigners you and others will see through in an instant. They practice at being needy and appealing to someone’s emotions and will tell people what they want to hear.  If you suspect that someone you’re talking to may be a scammer, stop your communications and immediately report them to the dating site.

Have any other pointers about dating safely? Please share in the comments below.

The post Dating Safely – Stay Smart Online appeared first on Adult Match Maker.

Follow these tips and increase your prospects with the ladies.

1. Your appearance

Here the rules are pretty much common sense.  The girls will always go for a guy who is good looking and if you are good looking then you are more likely to get laid.  However, as not everyone is genetically blessed, at the very least, be clean and presentable.  That includes smelling good.  Bad breath – either alcohol breath or smoker’s breath are big turn offs as is body odour.   Make an effort with your clothes, shoes and personal grooming.   Women pay attention to the clothes you wear and even the shoes you have on so always dress well.   Make sure that your clothes are clean, ironed and fit you well and your shoes are nice.  You want a woman to like everything about you.

2. Your manner

Women pay close attention to your body language and your mannerisms, how you interact and talk to people.

Be yourself and not only will someone sleep with you, it will probably be someone that likes you and that you like in return.  However, if being yourself means being self-centred and bragging about your own achievements all night you will not be laid.

Tell a woman what it is about her that you like – flattery is always welcome – but keep it genuine as women can tell fake flattery a mile off.

Do not get drunk.   Don’t think that the only way you can approach women is with a few drinks under your belt.    If you approach and talk to women when you have been drinking, firstly you will  smell bad – see tip 1 above, and you will make stupid small talk, slur your words, and not speak clearly and the women will either laugh at you or look down on you – either way they will not want to sleep with you.  So if your goal is to get laid limit your alcohol consumption.

Be chilled. You want to exude an air of being open to possibilities and not to appear desperate.

Be confident.  This is all about first impressions.   If you approach women with a confident manner, in a relaxed, fun and playful mood, they will be more receptive.

Confidence is one of the things that attract women.  Confidence says a lot about a man, who he is and his potential to do well in life.    Women want to be with a man who is strong, mentally and emotionally and who can stand up and face the challenges of life.

Smile

When it comes to meeting women and potentially getting laid, it’s important to be confident and be in a good mood. One of the best ways to do that is to smile a lot.

Don’t make the mistake of putting on an act of being cool and aloof.   If anything, it will just cause you to feel insecure or feel like an outsider.

Smile and feel good about approaching and meeting women.

Keep smiling throughout the night too. Have a good time at the bar or club. When women can see that you’re happy and in a good mood, you’re much more approachable.   At the very least women will feel more comfortable to smile back at you if you make eye contact.

3. Your approach

At bars and clubs you have the opportunity to approach and talk to lots of different women.  Most of the women have made an effort to dress up and look attractive.   Not all the women will be there for a hen’s night.  There will be women there who are looking for a man.

Walk in as if it’s your party, like it’s your sort of scene and as though you fit in perfectly.

Smile, feel good about yourself and allow others to feel good in your presence.    It helps you to get into the right sort of mood and maintain it, rather than feeling overwhelmed by the people in the club who aren’t smiling at you or welcoming you into their groups.

When you’re in a bar or club, don’t worry what others are thinking.  Know that smiling and feeling good about yourself gives you an advantage.  Women will find you more attractive and approachable because you’re confident and in a good mood.

4. Who to approach

Focus on seeing if a girl is continuously looking around the room as if she is also looking for someone to meet.  Look for someone who looks approachable and friendly and if they are on their own you are on your way.   Women who are out at bars and clubs by themselves want to meet a man.   Picking up women is a numbers game and the more women that you approach, the greater the chance that you will seal the deal and get laid.  You may have to approach many women over the course of the evening.

5. The process

When a girl is by herself and you approach her, talk to her as if you are good old friends.

Walk up to her, smile and introduce yourself and ask her name.  Begin talking to her and see if you have common interests so that you can share interesting stories about yourselves.   You should also establish if she has plans for later on in the evening, or if she is meeting her boyfriend/fiancé/friends.

To establish an emotional connection and some rapport, you must find a way to innocently touch her.   Easily done by touching her arm when offering to get her a drink at the bar.

Once you have already begun touching her and having an interesting conversation with her, you should make plans to get her phone number.

You need to escalate the conversation and interaction with her to establish if she is physically attracted to you, is available, and is open to going with you to either her place or your place.    Don’t be afraid to let her know that you would like to spend the night with her.

She should be sending very clear signals that she has the same goal in mind.

If she shows that she’s not that interested or shows discomfort or disinterest just move on to the next girl.

Likewise, if she is drunk don’t go any further – just get her a taxi home.

Obviously if you have only meet one or two women during that evening, your chances of getting laid are less than if you have met 10 or 20 women that night.

If you have introduced yourself to as many women as possible and it has come to the end of the night and the club/bar is closing, you might just happen to be there for one of these women who doesn’t want to go home alone and invite them home with you.

Lots of men get rejected but lots of people are also up for a one-night stand.   Act as if picking up women is a game, and that your mission is to progress to the next level with each woman.   Remember games are fun and the more fun you are having makes you more attractive.

The post For Men: Tips to get laid! appeared first on Adult Match Maker.